What's wrong?
Wednesday, April 6, 2011 | 10:20 PM | 0 hearts♥
My emotions...I'm acting weird these few days. I lose my temper easily, and i talk to people in a loud voice and i didn't even realise that, making people thinking that i'm angry and in a bad mood. Maybe because i'm stressed up with OTC course and also school, which is starting soon. I'm sorry friends, if i had done any of the things mentioned to you and i'm sorry if i like ignored you...
Today went back to school to collect Olevel certificate. I was very late, made dee dee wait for me. I'll never change this stupid habit of mine, keep making people wait for me BECAUSE I'M LATE! sTUPID ME LAH! So i rushed to school , ok trying to rush the bus.. Dee dee..pretty leh~ hehe.. Then waited for vicky to come. I'm sorry for making you wait with me. forgive me?=) I admit i didn't control my temper and my emotion and also my expressions when vicky came. I'm sory vicky, for like showing my anger at you. I'll change. Really, i will. Mum says i'm a bit rough in terms of the words i use. I'm trying to change. To erase the words: 妈的. zz. i don't know when i started saying this 2 words.
Please do kindly remind me. =) Then went to eat and came back school for the full dress speech day rehersal. At that time, i feel a bit lost. I don't know how to talk to both vicky and deedee at the same time. I'm trying to talk to both and i know vicky is like always walking off or walking around so i tried to talk to vicky and in the end i almost forgot dee dee, standing alone. SORRY...
I went back to dee dee and talked to her. Then she took photos of the condigents. I went to sjab room to place my stuffs and explained to vicky about my problem, like trying to talk to both of them at the same time. I'm glad that she understood me and told me that its ok. I know my friends are DAEBAK! Best! They always understand me and forgive me. I'm really happy. That i have great friends. Dee dee stayed in school to watch the parade, at first she didn't want to, but i wanted her to stay..i'm selfish...I know shes going to like meet her bf. But i hope she will stay at least a while, cause i don't know when i can meet her again. School starts and .. we're in different school, i don't want it to be like my primary school friends.. Once school starts, they totally forgot me, maybe the first few months is ok, but after that no more contact.
I don't want that to happen, especially when i'm so close to her. I'm so much closer with my secondary school friends. I'm like attached to them, i mean in terms of feelings... Its difficult to part with something when you're attached to them right? Yes, thats me. When i give my heart to that person or like i really want to be close with that person, i will do it and i only do it when i know the person well and i know that person feels the same. Its has always been hard for me to open up to people, since young. But because of sjab, i changed. I tried to talk more and also because of my friends. If not for them, i wouldn't be what i am now. I know i'm blessed enough, to have friends as close as sisters. Real blood sisters.. Even when she have sisters, i treat them like my sisters too, although i'm don't know them well.
I know she does too. We love our sisters, we love each other like sisters. I love my friends, my family. (my hamsters too.=)) Sometimes, i gets accused wrongly, i may try to explain myself but when it doesn't work, i just let it be. Theres no point.
I'm sorry for leaving you alone at there.. I came out of sjab room and went back to parade square. Luckily, dee dee bought her camera( jealous) . hehe. Then hangying they all wanted to take picture with me, i was happy.. Cause they wanted to take picture with me. I'm always happy when people wants to take picture with me. cause that makes me feel like i'm wanted..at least thats what i feel. But i always push them away..because..i think that i'm not worth enough or i think i'm not photogenic and the photo won't look nice with me inside.
Seeing ALPHA, i'm happy.. I know that they feel proud when they see the platoon they take doing well. They'll understand how i feel. One of them told me they read my blog. And i guessed right. DEEDEE!!! Don't like that lah..=) I shy sia, the whole platoon read it! OMG! When they told me, i'm like blushing on the inside of course. But my face was calm. muahaha. calm. Saw them march , thought of last time... I was in Guard Of Honour too. Ok, i screwed up on the day it self. haha. cause i was distracted. Yeah, i get distracted easily. I have a exam on saturday and im using comp here. Actually wanted to go down for AFA revision tmr, but i promised to go out with vernesa they all to sentosa!! . and i have not seen them for like months? for some of them.. Like heidi, jaslene and vernesa.. They helped me when i was in trouble, i remebered every moment when i got bullied and they stand up for me. I remember my friends, all of them standing up for their friends, family when anyone gets bullied.
Dee dee , always look out for me. Like my older sister, protecting me. Gosh, i feel like crying because i'm listening to a sad song while typing. Vicky, i'm always with her like 365 days during school times because we were in the same CCA , same class, same house(leopard). But i'm always wanted to stay with all my friends at one shot ( thats impossible),especially during school.Now, school no more. And i now can meet up with my friends in different days. Because of my friend, i get to know more friends. Joannae, hui luan, mingteck, yiling, ann li...I don't know if they treat me as friends or not, but i do. I know they're nice people. Very nice people. =) My post just won't end.. Shall study.. Public duty...blah blah. so many topics. I must pass!! SEE YOU PEOPLE! i really can't wear tanktop just like that, my back...zz My instructors, sir kenneth, mdm iris. this two wonderful instructor who have been with me since sec 1. Thank you sir and mdm. You don't know how grateful i am. Although i may seem to like don't care. Sir, you may be fierce, very fierce last time, but now you're like the best instructor. Mdm, i always laugh at your jokes. And you're understanding.. I admit i'm not really close to you but i appreciate what you have done for my platoon. thank you .Aiyo, i hope they won't read my blog. SO PAISEH!! I wish everyone know my heart, how i'm truly grateful to them.
Without my friends, i think no one else will know me better..