Monday, April 25, 2011 | 6:08 PM | 0 hearts♥
Now i don't know what's wrong with it. What's wrong with staying in the library to complete my 4 important daily work after school? Its my studies, i know i end at 3.30pm and always do my work until like 6pm and reaches home at 8pm+. I do know all these. But i prefer staying in the library then studying at home, its quieter and the atmosphere is more relaxing. Look at my home, when i get home, you guys shout here and there even after i tell you guys to lower your voice, then you guys on the tv like nothing happens. Thats when it pisses me off. I tried explaining to you guys, you think i don't know i live very far away from RP? At least i have Jin hui and Shi hui to stay back with me, if not why would i bother to stay back? My other friends are like in other schools already. And i know in my heart that i won't have so much time to be with them. And now i only have the two HUIs. Now, even in the same poly, i also have difficulty going for a simple lunch together with them. Its only after school do we have time to go together.
If i don't spend enough time with them, do you know i will go back to the old me, i'm just starting to open up. I'm doing this all because of what? Of course its my studies! If i don't participate in my group work, my grades, in the end, everything is graded. Every single thing is linked with grades. Do you know how stressed up i am? Just on the first day of school, i'm already like in year 3. I'm doing my best to make you guys proud, i set my target , to get into university. At least i know thats the only thing i can make you guys proud in.
After meeting deedee yesterday, i feel so much better seeing her being alright, adapting well to her school. =) I still don't know her school well, but i know she'll do well in school and get to poly soon with joanne and others. jy! As for vicky, i could somehow understand what she's going through now. Like a gap between her new friends and her. Its like that. And i don't know how i can help her when i'm so near yet so far away from her. It would be so great if i can help her like i used to do, even if i can't help, or be of any use, at least i can give some ideas, opinions or advice. But now, i can only look at the messages she send to me. I hate being a useless friend.
I wish that my friends are all doing well and being happy with their new friends. While my own are alright and my family will understand what i am doing. I know i don't have much time to spend with my sister, but i know she'll understand that i stilll love her, although i put on a eveil mask. Well, i won't be able to listen to her troubles if she need me because i return home late everyday and she has her own work to complete.
Why must it end like this?